Grief.
We all have plans and expectations. Some of them are modest; but some of them are about nothing less than creating the infrastructure for our lives.
For the past several years, it's been increasingly harder to realize our dreams. Tougher to live on one income (or two... or three...), harder to get good healthcare without arguing for it, a challenge to find the right school for one's kids. But we all do our best to get our priorities met, whatever they may be.
And then it turns out that the infrastructure on which we've been building OUR infrastructure has evaporated. What are we left with? Our savings are plundered, our schools are desperate for money, even our doctors are in debt. ThIs not what we wanted! It's not what we planned and hoped for! We worked so hard; there was so much promise. And now it's gone. A lot of it anyway.
So. We are a nation (a world) in grief.
I believe it's important to acknowledge that it really hurts. We sacrificed to build. It was broken down.
We're sad.
Money IS important.
But now that we've agreed that money's important, we need to understand WHY.
Why is it important? What did we trade to acquire money, and why? We made choices that were about acquiring money for a reason. What was that reason?
Did we think, "But what if we got sick, who would take care of us? I need to afford the best insurance."
Did we think, "But I can't live *there*! Who would chose that? I am
willing to work harder to live in this community that's clean and safe."
Did
we think, "But my children need to be educated well! I can't risk poor
education, let alone outright danger and peer-community norms I'm not
comfortable with.
Sure we bought iPods and jet skis, and that's fun - but when we were fed up with work, we didn't keep at it because we wanted toys. Why did we keep going? I'm guessing that it was constructing our own personal infrastructure that was what kept us trudging off to work during the lowest lows.
So. Assuming that's the case...
If I could assure you a safe, clean, modest house, with limited work hours, plenty of time with your family, and not much TV screen real estate but friends and a park... and health care when people got sick.... big loss? Or maybe it's an tradeUP from hectic dry-cleaning runs and endless travel with timezone-sickness?
There was grief: rage and disappointment and sense of futility.... But one way or another, we're all going to need to continue to build our personal and community infrastructures.
Take inventory. These are the new rules:
(1) De-emphasize money-messages. Money is more scarce, but it often can't buy what you want anyway. (And soon there may be inflation.) Remember everyone has a belief system about money. Some think spending money shows love. Some think having it shows power. Or success. Or behaving in a certain way to acquire money shows obedience. Or safety. So respect each other's messages, and try to disentangle money from the underlying communication.
(2) Respect Other Peoples' Boundaries. Your character is what you have. People will trust you or not; they will share with you or not. Make sure that what you do and how you treat everyone will stand up in the light of day. Population may get dense; we may see some epidemics -- we've been alert to that possibility for a while. Work now towards minimizing your space needs and your impact on other people.
(3) Forgive. Remember that everyone makes the wrong choice at some time; that what we've built isn't who we are -- for good or bad; that almost every person has the ability to contribute positively to other peoples' lives. (The few who don't are quite noticeably in need of assistance. Help them.)
(4) Listen particularly to people who live by systems of rules that are different than your own. Jonathan Haidt gives a brilliant talk about morality (below) -- and the difference between liberals and conservatives. There is no single right path. As I wrote before, this is the time for leadership that is flexible and resilient. Leadership roles will be fluid: "lead, follow, or get out of the way" are all valid choices for a single individual, in different circumstances.
(5) If you have resources to put to the changing landscape, focus on creating the new systems: how do we measure the development of intangible assets? How will we link those items we measure in the community (civic participation, health/environmental cleanliness, cognitive development via the educational ecosystem) with other areas of the community, namely that which produces goods and services?
We're living in a time where we're throwing out the old system and bringing in a new one. It's going to be chaotic and difficult and there's going to be ongoing suffering. Keep alert and compassionate and work towards its resolution. That's all there really is to do now.
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